“As you get older that feeling of pressure from gay culture to perform a certain way subsides. You stop being influenced by what you think you should be doing and start figuring out what you want. “Then you hit 40 and realise that nothing needs to stop. “When you’re younger you race at things because you think it is all going to end by the time you’re 40,” he says. But chances are the brunt of their clientele are closer to my age.”Īndy was late to the gay scene, coming out in his mid-30s, so he’s always looked at the ‘Peter Pan Syndrome’ many gay men go through as they age in a different way. “It doesn’t help that gay culture and sex-on-premises venues play to a hierarchy where you need to be young to be seen. “You hit your late ‘30s and ‘40s and start acting like a horny teenager again in some sort of desperation to hold onto something,” he says. An older person knows what they want and can’t be bothered mucking around – that’s why the sex is so good.”Īndy, who recently turned 60, believes gay men spend much of their young lives trying to turn back time, but at some point, need to be practical and play to their strengths. “My partner and I have several friends in our age group who are still having very active sex lives. “I was always extremely versatile in my younger years and I keep my versatility strong even though everyone just assumes Daddy is going to be on top. “I even have regular shags in their ‘50s who call me Daddy, which I find odd, but I embrace it because they are lovely people,” he says. Kevin says being labelled a ‘Daddy’ has worked in his favour as he’s gotten older. No-one wants to feel past their prime, but thanks to the rise of subcultures around ‘Daddies’, age really is just a number – and the higher the better. We often assume older people don’t have thriving sex lives because of our own insecurities around ageing, even though we do it daily. “My time is limited to maybe another ten years and since I can still enjoy good sex, I want to make the most of it.” Now I am more particular and I’m not going to muck around. “Don’t get me wrong – the sex was good 20 years ago, but I probably just had sex for the sake of it. “So I know what I like and focus on doing it. “I never thought my sex life would be this good, and it’s because I’m older and wiser now,” he says.
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